


Keith’s Guide To Falling In Love

by rykitty



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Coffee Shop, Fluff and Angst, Keith is a Mess, Keith is bad at life, Lance is adorable, M/M, Sweet, broganes, lance is a good friend, mornings are gorgeous, soft, they’re in college
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-24 20:55:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14363481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rykitty/pseuds/rykitty
Summary: The mess of a college student Keith Kogane explores the importance of time, happiness, family, and love all over a cup of coffee with Lance McClain.





	Keith’s Guide To Falling In Love

**Author's Note:**

> song inspo:  
> bubblegum; clairo  
> video games; conan gray cover  
> the only exception; paramore
> 
> enjoy!

**September 7th, 7:15 AM**

 

The strong scent of mixtures, coffee beans, and a wistful, faraway taste of mocha hit Keith’s nose the second he placed his hand on the glass door.

 

The half-awake and stumbling inside with barely any energy in his system was almost daily routine for Keith. Occasionally, the tired redness of his eyes felt swollen and piercing under his skin, and the raven-haired teen squinted to adjust his eyesight to the dim, warm lights of 7 AM.

 

“Medium black coffee?”

 

“Hm?” Keith barely had time to look up before pushing back a soft heat that swarmed onto his face. The bartender must recognize him from coming in every morning. Not realizing he had zoned out standing in front of the counter (clearly like a dumbass), he grunted tiredly. “Oh, uh, yeah”

 

“Cool.” The cashier stifled back a laugh, punching in something into the register before looking back at the shriveled, cold, and dissociating personality that was Keith Kogane. “That will be three dollars and fifteen cents”

 

Keith shoved his right hand into his pocket dazedly, hoping that he had thrown his wallet in there in the dawn of his morning. He barely remembered waking up, brushing his teeth, feeding his cat, and throwing his clothes on before snatching his keys and barreling out the front door. If he even did those things. And knowing himself, he probably skipped a few steps.

 

Thankful that his hands seemed to hit an object close to what a wallet would feel like, he yanked his hand out of his sweatpants and revealed a soft pink holder decorated with hearts. And then Keith was reminded of the constant dread of Takashi Shirogane and his funny “haha” Christmas pranks. Thanks for the fucking wallet, Shiro.

 

Used to the amused staring for a couple of months now, a useless fuckup pulled out his card and shoved it graciously toward the cashier. He took it generously quietly, and Keith tried not to zone back out.

 

“Alright, here’s your card.” A few moments later the red credit card Keith dreaded to even look at was handed back to him. Money and sleep were two things Keith seemed to struggle with the most, he decided, as he nodded a half assed thanks and hauled himself away.

 

Four months ago, Keith acted on impulse when a random idea popped into his head of going to college and doing something with himself. Keith had first disobeyed those thoughts and spent that night playing Battlefield 4 with his brother, but then in a great awakening he realized that life was not as simple as watching people get killed on multiplayer and fighting with eleven year olds on the microphone. He should probably do something if he got that furious screaming at people in online chat rooms.

 

Keith knew that he was quite a loser when he slapped his palms on the counter, shut his eyes tightly and announced he was going to go to college when Shiro spit his Frosted Flakes out onto the counter. Jokes on him, he was the one to clean that up, and not Keith.

 

At his usual spot in the corner by a window, Keith slid into his booth and let his fingers crawl themselves onto the table. Sometimes Keith would lay awake at night and face the awful dread that was his current situation. He had impulsively moved out, impulsively got an apartment (with the help of his brother), and impulsively gathered all his life savings and dream vacation money (once again, with the help of his brother) to go to college. To get his dream job; something he had left behind in the 9th grade when he decided he’d just live off of Shiro his entire life.

 

The idea wasn’t unlikely, of course. Shiro was becoming more the successful then Keith could ever imagine himself going. But in the scent of morning coffee and post-rain, Keith knew that mornings like these weren’t as bad as sitting at home all day with his cat.

 

Keith looked up and hoped his expression wasn’t ready to kill someone when a waiter set his steaming coffee onto the table. He sent another one of his half assed smiles, watching the waiter smile back and leave with no such care.

 

How could someone handle this job, Keith couldn’t know. It took quite the convincing himself to even pick up his own job, realizing money was playing an important factor in his sudden life changing decisions. Picking up a 5 PM to 12 PM job at Walmart was his only way out. God, and Keith fucking hated Walmart.

 

Keith glanced at the soft cup circling in his hands before bringing it up to his lips and taking a sip. Sooner or later, he’d be awake and ready to go to class. Wasting precious money for a cup everyday was well worth sacrificing if it meant I’d stop him from killing everybody.

 

Money seemed so precious in that moment — it was what Keith used to stay alive, and feel alive, because only god knows what Keith would have to go through living in the basement of his brother’s house and marrying his cat. But something even more valuable appeared in Keith’s life, and he didn’t even know it when an unfamiliar figure slid across from him in his booth.

 

“Hey, how do you _brew_.” The slender figure, what Keith registered, sent him a sly smile that mixed with an awkward grin. Tan skin and small, dotted freckles caught Keith’s awareness, along with soft blue eyes and long fingers that nervously curved.

 

“How do I… brew…?” Keith didn’t seem to get it. He frowned and stared at the god-complex in front of him, watching as the dorky smile lighting up his features fell all the way to a helpless “O”.

 

“You don’t get it?” The boy wheezed out, clutching his long fingers around the chest part of his shirt. Keith wondered how he wasn’t so cold in such a thin material. “You know! Brew, Do?”

 

It took Keith a second.

 

“Oh.” He hid his hand in front of his lips and held back an what he liked to call an ugly Keith giggle, raising his eyebrows in fluffy amusement. “Puns. I get it.” He hoped he didn’t look like a mess right now.

 

The boy laughed softly. “Didn’t get any sleep last night? I saw you lugging in on your last leg”

 

“Yeah. It’s the usual.” Keith suddenly felt something warm inside him. It wasn’t often that people took time out of their day to approach him, especially with something that made him smile. A soft buzz echoed from his stomach — a social queasiness that liked to haunt him.

 

In a second, Keith watched as the seemingly observant pun-boy glanced down at his cup of coffee, face twisting into a very tasteful look of disgust. Keith immediately knew what he was going to say — he’s heard the exclamation so many times in his life that he didn’t even know how to respond anymore other than a simple “yeah”.

 

“You drink black coffee?”

 

“Yeah.” Keith responded.

 

“Oh my god.” He laughed, shoving a freckled hand dramatically into his face, letting himself drop back into the booth with such dramatics that dripped sweetness. The sun was barely up outside in the early of the morning, and a golden hour glow substituted for it that shimmered softly on their faces. Rain from the night prior dripped from the top of the roof from what Keith could study out the window. He sipped his coffee in all goodness. It took him a few seconds to realize they had gone quiet.

 

“Sorry.” Keith muttered quickly, gathering back reality thoughts. “I’m not good at conversation”

 

“It’s okay, me neither.” It surprised Keith when the long fingered boy held out his hand in an appreciative manner. He expected them to fake kindness and say goodbye, trail off to the other side of the shop and never see ugly acne faced Keith again, but instead he had introduced himself as if they were going to talk again. “Nice to meet you, the name’s Lance”

 

Keith’s lips dripped the most sugary and savory smile that seemed right in that moment, representing the social buzz that grew infinitely louder in his stomach. People were walking in the cool air outside, whether it was to work or simply to appreciate the wonders of morning, and the coffee shop was quiet.

 

“Keith.”

 

**September 8th, 7:07 AM**

 

The next morning was no different from any others. Keith woke up and braced himself for another game of life, splashing cold water on his dry and bumpy face. Surveying himself in the mirror — Keith Kogane looked nothing other then his title: a college student ready to pass out from living on ramen cups and tasteless black coffee.

 

He agonizingly slipped on one of several sweatpants and a sweater, topping it off carelessly with a red scarf that seemed to save him everyday. His lips slipped in a thin line when he saw his cat laying bitterly on his laptop.

 

“Jokes on you, Red.” He pointed an accusing, yet harmless finger over at the fluffy golden cat who shot him negative looks. “But I don’t need my laptop today. Sometimes cats don’t need as much attention as a touch starved gay fuck like me”

 

Like always, unless Keith’s life would somehow get even more out of a cliche sitcom and his cat started to speak, Red simply did not respond and jumped off the table aggressively. She followed Keith into the kitchen as he grabbed his keys off the counter, pulling a face of displeasure when he saw the piled up dishes in the sink.

 

You could say he was still getting used to living alone.

 

“Wish me luck.” Was his usual saying, not knowing whether it was to his cat or not as he slipped out of his shitty apartment into his shitty life. Minutes later, he wound up sitting alone at the same red booth at the same coffee shop at the same time.

 

But just like yesterday, Lance slipped back into his booth, and Keith barely recognized him.

 

“Oh. Hey.” Keith was frozen in place. Words danced on his tongue but were unable to spin on his lips as he frantically shot an eye anywhere that Lance wasn’t. He definitely wasn’t expecting to be approached by the same person twice if it wasn’t Shiro.

 

“Good mornin’.” Lance chirped enthusiastically, taking a sip of his own coffee that’s name was written in neat cursive on the cup. Keith took it in himself to smile outwardly, ignoring a headache that substituted with his lack of sleep. “That’s an exotic drink you got there”

 

Seemingly gorgeous in the golden hour, Lance smiled, setting his cup down. “I like the exotic drinks. Ever try the unicorn frappuccino?”

 

“Uh, yeah. It was fucking disgusting.” Keith replied with a blank face. He let his hands wander instinctively to the black coffee that sat in front of him. That would be an explanation enough.

 

Lance simply grinned. “Uh, no. It was fucking awesome. I’m actually quite the sucker for sugary things. A lot of people try telling me my taste interprets my tasteful personality. I think that’s getting too deep into it”

 

“I can see it.” Keith said, leaning back and ignoring the buzz of his phone in his pockets — it was too early for this. He grabbed his warm cup with his hands and tilted it to his chapped lips. “Let me guess, you put gummy worms on your frozen yogurt?”

 

“How’d you know?” Lance gasped. Keith rolled his eyes.

 

“Because gummy worms are disgusting on ice cream, you absolute fool.” Keith shot back, adrenaline rushing through him with the energy of coffee flowing through his body. Hyper aware of everything now, Keith could no longer feel the tired ache in his bones minutes beforehand. Whether it was this conversation that was messing with his nerves or not, Keith couldn’t tell.

 

“You are the fool here, Keith!” Lance’s warm and non-intimidating voice had been risen to one up Keith’s remark, sliding off his tongue fully with no regrets. “Everytime I go to Yogurt Island, you will find me delicately getting mango, tart, chocolate, and peanut butter with gummy worms, Oreos, and hot fudge as the toppings.” Keith gagged the second those words left Lance’s mouth.

 

“Let me guess, you only get vanilla?” Lance leaned back at the other side of the booth, crossing his arms across his chest cooly.

 

“Maybe so.” Keith let his gloved fingers protectively curl around his black coffee. Was he that plain?

 

Instead of insulting him, Lance just laughed, and that made Keith’s heart feel ten times warmer.

 

**September 15th, 7:20 AM**

 

“I’m telling you, Keith.” Lance argued one morning, pointing an accusing index finger over to where Keith sipped his coffee delicately. He set the cup down in interest and amusement. “What now, Lance?”

 

“Have you ever even tried anything else?” Lance questioned, looking in tasteless disgust at the cup set in Keith’s grip. Keith let a soft laugh out, shaking his head. “Yes, Lance. I don’t like anything else. Why else would I get black coffee?”

 

“I don’t know! All I know is that you have the audacity to sit here in front of my salad and drink that disgusting thing!”

 

“Lance, did you just reference —“

 

“At least I try something new everyday!” Lance whined, completely ignoring him as he gestured to another random cup sitting on the table. “So that way I know what I like and I don’t on the menu!”

 

“I’m perfectly fine with my coffee, Lance.”

 

The atmosphere around them fell into a comfortable silence — something the two had come to appreciate themselves. When all else failed, they could count solely on the fact that the other didn’t make it awkward.

 

“You know.” Lance began, causing Keith to turn to face him. “My sister used to get black coffee, and one time in her car I took a sip and it was so gross that I threw it on the ground, and….. yeah”

 

Keith laughed.

 

**September 20th, 7:25 AM**

 

Keith didn’t know his emotions in this stage of his life. He couldn’t describe the day after day struggle it was to get out of bed and look at himself in the mirror and convince of it that it would be okay. To not be able to appreciate that he had lived another day, to not be able to smell the roses that his neighbor kept in front of their door as he galloped down the steps in painful, exhausted winces. Not be able to pet his cat that he loved every morning because he was too busy brushing his teeth and watching dish by dish pile up. Little moments in life Keith couldn’t appreciate because he spent most of it living in the dreaded moral of time.

 

Time, money, and sleep was a religious act that Keith couldn’t afford to lose. Every second wasted was another second Keith would fail to get his dream job and end up lonely and heartless in his brother’s arms.

 

For a week or two now, something had been wiggling its way into Keith’s strict “time, money, sleep” routine, and that thing was Lance.

 

Lance _could_ appreciate the little things, and that’s what Keith had come to love. His newfound friend wore smiles on his face and his heart on his sleeve. Keith slowly learned to know him, studying as each interaction went further then a simple pun, figuring out Lance was more then just somebody. Lance was a special person — one Keith couldn’t afford to lose, either.

 

The way Lance shared stories of his family when moments reminded him, talked about his weird tastes in foods, or simply the way he looked under the golden hour is what set Keith off for sure. He couldn’t call it a crush, but only a deep admiration that somebody could be that important. In someone else’s life, Lance could’ve done something wonderful simply by complimenting their shirt or saying good morning.

 

Day after day, Keith was a wilted flower, and Lance was a garden.

 

“Keith, I have good news!” Lance slid into the booth per usual that morning, a cheery smile flooding onto his face, ignoring Keith’s usual tired gloom. “G’mornin’?” Keith looked up from stirring his coffee mindlessly with a toothpick.

 

“So I — good morning — anyways, I did something crazy! You’re not gonna believe in, Keith.” Lance sipped his frappuccino proudly, sticking the straw in his curved, smug mouth. Keith rubbed his eyes and grunted. Did he lock the door today? If he did, he forgot. It’s not like he has much to lose in that place anyway. Just a loveseat and a box TV he shoveled out of his mom’s attic.

 

“I got a job.” Lance squealed.

 

Not knowing much about Lance’s basic life other than he was majoring in astronomy (at a different college from Keith) and loved his siblings, Keith’s sluggish eyebrows shot up and he stopped midway from sipping his coffee. He set it down softly. “Oh?”

 

“Yeah. At Starbucks. Isn’t that cool?” Lance flexed his words as if it was something Keith should admire, grinning pathetically at the announcement. Keith reminisced back to the months of his identity crisis, crying into Shiro’s pillow while he angrily applied for Walmart. Keith could only snicker.

 

“I mean, I guess.” Keith shrugged. “Love coffee that much?”

 

“You’ve forced me to speak of your dreaded tastes everyday, Keith.” Lance drawled sarcastically, his tone laced with only playfulness. His (admittedly so) slender figure shifted from his side of the table. “I decided that I need to get off my lazy butt and make some money!”

 

“Welcome to the real world.” Keith smiled helplessly, and he meant it.

 

The table went silent, and Keith peacefully looked out the window, forcing himself to appreciate little things. He couldn’t see them. He frustratingly frowned, and stirred his coffee unconsciously more in a fit of boiled anger. Why couldn’t he?

 

“I thought you were gonna make fun of me.”

 

Keith stopped stirring.

 

He looked over at the tall twenty year old in front of him, sinking down into his cup, miserably rubbing his face as if it would magically rub off any troubles on his mind. Keith let his leg anxiously bounce under the table, letting a fluffy mess of hair fall on his face.

 

“Why would I do that?” Keith questioned, concerned. He’s never heard anything like this come through Lance’s teeth before. Lance shrugged helplessly — and Keith knew when people felt helpless.

 

“I told all my other friends that I got a job and they said I would quit after a week.” Keith let his eyes blink troublingly as Lance dragged a slender finger softly across his cup, unable to look up at Keith. Keith smiled to himself when the words “other friends” was spit into the open, and Keith was glad that the friend thing was mutual. Before Lance, he didn’t have any friends.

 

“I don’t think so.” Keith shrugged, trying his best to reassure in some way. “And even if you do, who cares? I’m on the brink of dropping out, anyways. But I know that I shouldn’t, so whatever.” Keith laughed softly, even if it wasn’t a joke.

 

Lance’s nurturing blue eyes looked up and met Keith’s. A weak, sleepy smile.

 

“Thanks.” A genuine voice. The sound of bicycles peddling outside — the sound of a coffee maker whirring from behind the counter.

 

“No problemo.” Keith said back.

 

And then Keith realized that, in that moment, Lance proved he wasn’t perfect. Keith was forever grateful.

 

**September 22nd, 7:12 AM**

 

“— nd then Hunk yelled ‘Lance, _NO_!’ but it was too late, because there I was, lying unconscious on my deathbed.”

 

Keith had already heard this story before, but it made him giggle the way Lance had told it in such a vivid explanation.

 

“So, my friend Pidge, being a jackass — she’s still a junior by the way — goes and says ‘Well if he dies, we’re sacrificing him’.” Lance’s face twisted into a sour pout, his bottom lip jutting out from his teeth. Keith leaned forward and grinned. “Sounds like something I would say”

 

“Very much so.” Lance shook his head disappointingly, crossing his arms defensively on the booth table. “Oh, Keith. You will never understand the troubles I’ve had to gone through with my friends. I got a papercut and Pidge used the blood to make a satanic symbol!”

 

“Let me guess — you were screaming in agony?” Keith emphasized, and was expecting it so when Lance nodded vigorously, hair bouncing softly as he did, scrunching his nose up angrily in a way that tested Keith’s limits to what he could handle.

 

Then Lance spoke next.

 

“Hey, why don’t you tell me about your friends! Any embarrassing Keith stories?”

 

The soft moment ended, and a warm, sleepy, and bubbly morning turned into a cold and isolated arctic. Keith refused to respond. He couldn’t — he wouldn’t. But that didn’t stop his heart from failing at the look that plastered itself upon Lance’s face.

 

“Why don’t you wanna tell me!” Lance seemed genuinely offended at this factor, pulling up his leg to swing over the other, shoving up his coat that was falling off his shoulders. Keith studied all these things, and smiled softly when he realized Lance’s light brown coat and tan skin and soft brown hair reminded him of mocha.

 

“Because I don’t have any friends.” The words left Keith’s lips as tasteless as the black coffee he drinks. Nothing as sweet as mocha. A sad smile played off his lips.

 

Lance’s expression had fallen from his usual morning enthusiastics to its now crumbling guilt.

 

“Before I went into college, all I did was live with my going-on-rich brother and play video games all day.” Keith explained before Lance could apologize, because he knew that was coming next. It always came next. “It’s a lifestyle I’ve adapted to ever since I was little. I’ve never really been a social type. It’s not like I don’t want to see people, but it’s hard talking to them. I guess it just takes special people like you to who keep talking to me daily to make an effect on my life”

 

Keith had never said that much about himself to someone who wasn’t a family member. Lance was still quiet.

 

Not forcing him to speak anymore, Keith inhaled the comforting smell of brewing coffee and sugar, closed his eyes, and told himself it was going to be okay.

 

Moments later, Keith’s eyes opened to Lance gone. Panicking slightly, Keith felt his body go numb, but that wasn’t until he sensed a warm figure was now not in front of him, but next to him.

 

The close proximity made him choke, especially now with the hug that engulfed him.

 

“Keith!” Lance was wailing dramatically, pretending to cry. “You think I’m special! This is a miracle day! My new best friend! Comrade! I’m gonna be the best friend you’ve ever had!” His warm cheek was squished against Keith’s shoulder, and Keith could feel every touch as if it was fire burning his skin.

 

Mocha. Keith relaxed in his touch. “Thanks.” He breathed. “Means a lot”

 

Keith looked down to see Lance smile.

 

Keith returned the hug.

 

**October 2nd, 7:02 AM**

 

Keith didn’t get any sleep that night. He had a nightmare. He stayed up all night listening to his heartbeat and asking Red if it was worth it.

 

Pulling himself to shove open his car door, he very well ended up doing so. It wasn’t as graceful as he anticipated — his boots sliding on the wet parking lot, a colorful trail of curses leaving his lips, laced with irritation as he slammed his door shut. The cool blast of morning hit his face as he stumbled over the curb and onto the sidewalk. Legs wobbly, he surfaced into the coffee shop, the bell on the door chiming in greeting.

 

His face was melting. His head was screaming.

 

“Mmm…” Keith tried to say the words, but they confusingly could not spit out. He took it all in himself to steady himself on the counter, watching the familiar cashier chuckle softly. “Black coffee?”

 

Keith nodded, pushing his hand into his coat pockets for his stupid girly wallet. Once again — curse his brother for existing in his life.

 

Keith’s heart turned to ice when he found nothing there.

 

No, no. Keith quickly shot up and ignored his shaking hands, patting everywhere on his body for any possible way his wallet would be in place. Nothing was there — Keith’s money was gone.

 

He left it at home.

 

“I, uh…” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. He glanced up the familiar face that he had god yet to know his name, scrunching up helplessly in a dark, black hole.

 

When Keith was 16, he got his first car. That same week he had crashed it into some guys’ bumper on the freeway, and the whole time Keith spent during the summer at a shitty, rundown Taco Bell was put to waste.

 

Time was important. Even if it was remembering his wallet. Because now Keith couldn’t have the one of the two things he looked forward to. The other thing was Lance, and he didn’t know how he could face him this morning if he was in this state of mind.

 

When Keith was 17, he graduated from high school. He still remembers Shiro’s proud smile from the audience. And even if Keith didn’t have family there to support him, it was the most memorable moment of his life. Being surrounded by his peers in that moment, the soft cheering of the crowd. Shiro pulling him into a deep hug. Keith was alive.

 

Yet now, Keith wanted to cry, and he forgot why he was doing all this in the first place.

 

“Forgot my wallet.” Keith mumbled sheepishly, shoving his clammy hands into his pockets. The person behind the counter gave him a look — it was of pity. It fueled Keith’s frustration like gasoline on fire.

 

There was no point in staying anyways if he didn’t have coffee. Not even Lance could save him at this point.

 

Picking up his feet from the tiled floor, Keith shoved his boots off and walked back toward the entrance, hoping he wasn’t gonna fall asleep at the wheel.

 

The moment his fingers slipped onto the cold metal handle, warmer fingers replaced the winter with sun, and his sleeve was being tugged back and turned around so that he was faced with an even bigger struggle.

 

Keith studied Lance’s complexion.

“Where are you going? Where’s your coffee?” Lance asked worriedly, still refusing to let go of Keith’s sleeve. Keith sniffed, but his eyes were dry. He slowly looked down.

 

“Forgot my wallet.” He mumbled quietly. Lance’s face looked down on him in ways unreadable, but it wasn’t of pity, and this was what held Keith back from living. Lance smiled softly, sadly — patting his shoulder sympathetically.

 

“Go sit down, buddy. I’ll pay.” Lance spoke.

 

Keith looked up at him, eyes widening. He felt the purple bags under his eyes open. ”What? No, L —“

 

“I’ll pay.” Lance repeatedly firmly. Keith tried to pull any comeback he had in him, but he couldn’t find anything by the firm look on his friend’s face. He finally obliged, and he slipped to his very corner in agony.

 

Minutes later, he was sitting with a warm cup of coffee across from a warm, beautiful person.

 

“Keith.” Lance's voice was serious, and Keith hated it. “What’s wrong”

 

Keith attempted to refuse, he really did. Keith opened and closed his mouth for what seemed like several moments until he realized he just couldn’t, and he broke down in a heap of helpless, cold tears, burying his head down and running his hands roughly through his hair. Soft, orange glowing from the window was replaced with a gloomy grey.

 

“I just can’t do it, Lance.” Keith’s voice cracked from beneath him, shaking steadily. “I’m not depressed, I know this, but I feel so lost. I feel like college isn’t worth it. Talking to you is the only highlight of my day. I go to college and then I go work at fucking Walmart and then I come back at midnight to study until 3 AM. And if I’m lucky, I’ll get the full 4 hours of sleep”

 

“I used to be okay. I used to have my own humbling routine of waking up and talking to my brother, and then playing video games all day. I’d go for walks and ride my bike. I’ve always been a morning person, you know. The sunrise is beautiful.” Keith was shaking badly now — hyperventilating, even. And he refused to look up and see Lance’s face. “But now I feel like if I wake up another day it’s gonna be more time wasted”

 

Lance was quiet. Keith was choking on his own tears, and he felt like if he’d take another sip of tasteless coffee, he’d puke. Even his own enjoyment was abandoning him now.

 

“Keith.” Lance’s voice was soft and wistful, mixed with just enough cream. The tone made Keith look up, wiping his eyes roughly with his hoodie sleeve. Lance grabbed Keith’s wrist.

 

“It’s gonna be okay.” Lance tightened his grip, closing his blue eyes and furrowing his eyebrows. His lips were firm and pink, and his freckles were constellations on his cheeks. His jawline reflected off of the grey morning skies, proving that dim sunlight wasn’t the answer to their problems.

 

Keith looked down at his hands.

 

“I’m gonna help you get through this. I’m your friend, Keith. Every morning I see you walk in with the most disgusted looks on your face. You are not happy, Keith. And you keep trying to convince yourself because of your dream.” Lance softly began to loosen his grip, his voice dripping with everything but anger. It was a soft melody that started to weave itself into Keith’s heart. “Which might not even be a dream.” Lance added quietly, and let fully go of Keith’s wrist all together. Keith kept his grey eyes purely on the cup in front of him — breathing steadily and shakily as he watched the steam rise. Soft puffs that pushed off his nose and into the air around them, simply disappearing from sight.

 

“Thank you.” Keith whispered, clutching his cold fingers around the hot cup. It warmed his hand instantly, the temperature blooming into his hands. A different feeling seemed to bloom in his heart in that moment, and Keith looked up with quirked lips and a sad frown.

 

“I wanna become a doctor.” Keith admitted, and a pitiful chuckle left his mouth before he could control it. He shook his head softly. “It’s been my dream ever since my dad died”

 

Lance was dead silent.

 

“You didn’t have to tell me that.” Lance straightened up now, and Keith could distantly see the stars that outlined his eyes. Keith looked out the windows and saw clouds covering the sky past high buildings. It reminded him of only bad memories.

 

“Listen, Keith.” Lance began, his voice ebbing with determination and kindness. Keith wiped his eyes again, sniffing angrily and biting his bottom lip. “We’ve going to get through this. We’re gonna come up with a plan. We’re going to make your life worth living”

 

Keith smiled, but it wasn't genuine.

 

**October 3rd, 7:13 AM**

 

At 1:34 AM on a stormy grey Tuesday night, Keith’s father had left his deathbed into greater places beyond Earth. Whether there was an afterlife or not didn’t matter in Keith’s perspective, because in that moment life was worthless to the heart stricken eleven year old.

 

Even Shiro cried that day, and Keith had never seen his brother cry. The fact that something successfully made him urged Keith to scream in the hospital room, kicking whatever was closest to him, throwing a temper tantrum of choking sobs. He fell on the floor, banging his fists.

 

“A car accident.” Breathless, hushed voices were static from the other side of a telephone. The cord wove around his mother’s fingers, and Shiro dropped his glass of water.

 

At night, Keith lay awake and watched as the digital clock next to him flickered at 1:34 AM ominously, haunting his dreams and creating nightmares that swarmed in his head like poisonous bugs. They fluttered their wings that thumped against his conscious.

 

Keith didn’t sleep the next night either, and this was expected.

 

Keith was awaken from almost falling asleep at the table with a loud bang that made him defensively shoot up. His nerves prickled against his skin, but softened just barely as Lance had slid in across from him.

 

“Morning, Keith.” He chirped, holding pieces of papers in his slender fingers. Keith pursed his lips, squinting his eyes in an attempt to focus. The morning glow flickered in lines on the table, and Keith admired its constant pattern.

 

“Mornin’.” Keith yawned, stretching his arms out. Lance chuckled.

 

“You didn’t get any sleep last night either, huh?” Lance sighed. Keith shook his head.

 

“Barely made it through the lesson. Fell asleep on a bench on campus.” Keith watched as Lance laughed reluctantly, tilting his head so that his hair curved softly around his ear, brushing his jaw. Keith scratched the back of his next, ignoring the tint of heat on his cheeks.

 

“Seems like something Keith would do.” Lance admitted, and let the papers fall softly on the table, causing the golden lines from the window to flicker. Keith looked down at them, and then back up. “What are these?”

 

“Oh… glad you asked!” Lance tugged his collar proudly, wearing a stupid grin on his face. Keith rolled his eyes and smiled softly back, crossing his arms over his chest. “What did you do, Lance?”

 

“Well you see, I promised I’d help you, sooo…..” Lance trailed off. “I made a guide! Isn’t that neat!” He boasted, eyes twinkling playfully. Keith’s stomach lurched with anticipation, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Is this the most amazing thing you’ve ever accomplished?”

 

“Shut up, Keith.”

 

Keith took the papers from Lance’s side of the table and flipped them around, tracing his fingers against the soft sheet. He picked up his coffee and took a sip (thankfully remembering his wallet that morning). Lance hummed thoughtfully, his voice breaking in rhythms.

 

“It’s called ‘ _Lance’s Guide To Finding Happiness_ ’ By Lance McClain!” His friend teased with a short, cocky smile. Keith chuckled underneath his breath, feeling a smile curl onto his lips painfully. His shoulders relaxed as if weight was evaporating off of them.

 

“What an eccentric title. How long did it take you to come up with this?” He questioned gently, flipping the stapled pages to see paragraphs and doodles that made Keith grin. Lance grunted in thought.

 

“Probably like 4 hours.” He admitted, scratching his head, fingers tossing in his hair. “Most of the time my friends were distracting me, so…”

 

“Pidge?” Keith grinned. Lance grinned back. “Yup. She wanted me to make her a sandwich.” Keith chuckled tiredly.

 

“Thanks.” Keith paused, looking up. “For making this.” He added, letting his long and messy raven hair bop on his head. He took a long sip of his coffee, finishing the cup whole.

 

Four months ago, the Keith Kogane that played Overwatch and kicked the chair in his room furiously when he was killed off would’ve laughed when someone told him he would be in this situation. “College?” The 19 year old would giggle, shoving his older brother out of his room. “Get out of here, Shiro. I can’t even organize my shoes”

 

“I’m just saying.” Shiro had growled firmly, gripping Keith’s shoulders forcefully. Keith’s playful taunting had turned into a quiet slump, realizing his brother was being completely serious. “This isn’t a joke. I wish it was”

 

“I wish it was too.” Keith shrugged off of Shiro’s grip, his shoulders rolling back defensively with the change of tone. “Because then I would be able to laugh it off with you. Get a grip, Shiro. I’m a fucking loser.” He stepped back into his room, prepared to slam the door in his face.

 

“This isn’t something to laugh about, Keith.” Shiro, knowing his younger brother all too well, pressed a strong hand against the door before Keith could dramatically grab it and push his face in. Keith’s blood went cold with anger. Damn him.

 

“You don’t control my life.” He spat. Shiro’s eyes darkened.

 

“I’m suggesting what’s good for you.” Shiro spat. “I could kick you out, you know. And you’d lose everything, Keith. Does that sound like a fucking fun time?”

 

Keith was shaking — Keith was angry. Shiro could not talk to him like that. He wasn’t allowed! His heart rate picked up immediately, face curling into a snarl.

 

Ungrateful, a voice had told him, haunting him for the rest of the night as he cried himself to sleep. “Ungrateful” it would say as he screamed at his brother, as he stormed outside, as he cried in the rain. Keith Kogane, at the time, was ungrateful. He needed an awakening.

 

But now, Lance was not forcing like his brother tried to do. Lance was helping. Lance was breathing in the same brittle mocha coffee air that he was, in the same spot, on the same day — Lance was looking at things in Keith’s perspective. Something his brother failed to do, which left Keith crawling helplessly at the rain.

 

“It’s no problem.” Lance insisted, reassuring Keith with a soft smile, soft fingers patting his arm from across. Keith’s eyes traced the wooden surface of the table, looking for answers to his prayers. All that was in sight was the stapled papers.

 

Keith picked up the papers, eyeing his friend who shot him a grin and thumbs up. Keith didn’t like reading, but he went to read it anyway.

 

When Keith was 7 years old, he remembered when he watched his parent’s first big argument. He remembered the screaming that tore from his mother’s lips, the clenched fists and teeth that supplied within his father. Keith had watched as his mom had thrown a book across the room, shattering a vase into tiny parts Keith couldn’t even count in his head. It reminded him of counting the stars.

 

Shiro had pulled young Keith from the scene and locked them in his room, and told his crying brother it would be okay. Keith cried because that was The Bible.

 

“But he’s gonna be mad.” Keith’s voice was bubbled, letting his tiny hands grip on Shiro’s hoodie, shoving his messy face into his chest. “Momma will get karma”

 

“She won’t. God has seen worse.” Shiro whispered, ducking his head to face him directly. They sat on the grey carpet in the middle of his room, surrounded by a soft whirring computer monitor and clothes strung over the hamper. Keith looked up at the glowing stars stuck on Shiro’s ceiling, wiping his eyes angrily with his sleeve and pouting up his bottom lip in frustration. He counted the stars.

 

When Keith was done reading this guide, he felt like he had seen not only a star, but the entire universe. Lance really did care about him. Keith had spent the last few minutes reading and biting his lip with smiles. He cocked his head up when he was finished, gently handing the papers back.

 

“Did you enjoy?” Lance hummed, strumming his fingers against the table. Keith smiled even bigger.

 

“I did. I truly, really did.”

 

**October 12th, 7:19 AM**

 

Keith slipped the book through his fingers, turning page after page by the minute. He studied the words, gluing his pupils to the endless textbook. It never seemed to go away, the pages — and Keith was counting word after word in his brain, calculating what they meant and how they worked. It reminded Keith of the time he spent hours analyzing a cartoon he watched, only to be laughed at by Shiro when he found out it was Gravity Falls.

 

“How many pages?” Lance would ask in the background.

 

“23.” Keith would respond, and turned the next page. There he continued to read and sipped his tasteless coffee, a warm sensation buzzing on his tongue. His new schedule was rough, but Lance told him it would all work out. Keith hoped that much was true.

 

Gloomy mornings were never bright in Keith’s eyes. Lance said he liked them because it meant rain, and Lance liked the rain. Lance loved jumping in puddles and smelling its evaporation in pavement the next morning. Lance loved riding his bike in the humid weather, not even a hood supporting him as his hair and clothes got soaked while he wheeled past. Keith loved hearing those words drip from Lance’s mouth, because the sight of it in his head made his legs feel like jello and his head buzz with unnecessary warmth.

 

Since Lance had gave him the guide, Keith had been working his ass off to make things right. Keith woke up in the mornings and looked at himself in the mirror, and he could feel change. He saw colors orbiting around the skies as he drove to the café in the morning, the height of the golden hour reflecting off of Lance’s sunny eyes.

 

Keith liked Lance, that much was that.

 

He had yet to even meet Shiro, which set Keith off into an abyss of emotions. What would Shiro think of Lance? What would Lance think of Shiro? It had to be something positive, because if else, he just had to leave their relationship simply as friends.

 

“You know.” Lance had teased one day, bobbing his head to the music in his earbuds. Keith was reading the textbook effortlessly, trying to ignore Lance’s voice pulling him out of his panicked zone. “You talk about your brother a lot. Is he important?”

 

Keith had looked up and smiled. “Yeah, he’s really important.” He voice went soft, and he felt his heart pouring out to Lance. He was pouring in the beans, the cream, the sugar — all Lance had to do was stir. “We’ve gone through a lot of things together. If you need something to relate to, then just think of all the hardships you’ve gone through with your siblings. It’s kind of like that, just… more intimate. Only one sibling that has had your back since the day you were born. For someone like me, who has no friends.” Keith’s eyes shimmered in the light, and Lance was left staring in wonders.

 

“Wow.” Lance has responded hoarsely, ducking his head away, turning the music on his iPhone discreetly back up as Keith went back to studying.

 

“Hey Shiro.” Keith had greeted one morning in the week previous from now, his luxurious day off — his fingers curled around his phone, sinking back into his couch with a feverish slump.

 

“Keith!” The distant voice greeted from the other side of the line, a cheerfulness that Keith wished to achieve. The comforting voice he hadn’t heard in a while tended to soothe him. “How have you been doing? I haven’t talked to you in weeks!”

 

“Peachy.” Keith responded sarcastically, sighing and rolling his eyes. “Shiro, this life thing is taking a toll on me”

 

“Oh, yeah, totally. I knew you’d have a difficult time, Keith. Remember when you lost your phone only to find it in the fridge?” Keith laughed at that. Shiro chuckled as well, and Keith felt something warm swell in his heart, yet a different feeling he got with Lance. More… homey.

 

He spent the next two hours talking to his brother, catching up on things. It took Keith not until the second hour to tell Shiro about Lance.

 

“What do you guys talk about?” Shiro asked, a mischievous glint to the tone of his voice that Keith hadn’t noticed until hours later.

 

“We mostly talk about, I don’t know, life?” Keith wondered aloud, swinging his leg lazily off of the couch. “He’s really funny. And he knows not to mess with me. One time he said he’d beat me up but then I pulled out my pocket knife and he screamed for, like, ten minutes. Not really, but —“

 

“Do you like him?”

 

The next question made Keith stiffen in his spot, eyes scanning his apartment uncomfortably with the pressure of his feelings pushing on his chest. Coughing it out, he shifted softly. Did he like him? Did he like Lance, and his empathetic manner, and his sense of humor, and the way golden specks lit up his eyes in the hum of the morning?

 

Keith looked down at his mismatched socks.

 

“I do.” He said.

 

**October 16th, 7:23 AM**

 

“My birthday is in a week.” Keith announced.

 

Keith didn’t expect Lance to jump up and gasp the way he did. Keith knew he was predictable, but he it was a surprise to see Lance excitedly letting words pour out of his mouth faster then Keith could register them.

 

“Oh my god Keith! Your birthday! This is perfect! I can’t wait! What do you want for your birthday? I’m gonna get you a present! The —“

 

Keith felt a warm of heat brush onto his cheeks at the sudden attention, leaning back as Lance slowly realized the blush painted on his skin. Lance went quiet for a moment, a dopey smile stretching across his lips. “Why are you embarrassed?”

 

“I usually don’t get stuff for my birthday.” Keith mumbled, rubbing his arm, refusing to share eye contact with the tan skinned boy. “Only from Shiro and my mom”

 

At the excluding of his father, Keith swore he saw Lance’s expression slump into something that was pity and sadness in a blink of an eye. But he quickly regained his posture, plastering a hopeful look on his face. Keith appreciated the throwing away of pity — he made it clear he didn’t like it, and Lance was respecting that.

 

“Well I’m gonna get you the best birthday present someone could ever get.” Lance boasted. Keith rolled his eyes and quirked his lips, refusing to show his totally-not-smile. “Lance, you don’t —“

 

“I can and will!” Lance objectedly pointed a finger his way, Keith slipping his hands onto his cup of coffee, taking another sip. The textbook on his right was untouched, and Keith felt a pang of anxiety hit him. No studying today for him, then.

 

When no one said a word, Lance slipped back into the booth and angrily chugged down his iced coffee. Keith leaned forward and rest down his elbows, tilting his head amusedly. “Are you going to ask me what I want?”

 

“Nope.” Lance cleared his throat and swallowed the last of the drink, licking his lips to the taste of leftover sweetness. “I’m gonna surprise you”

 

“Then how are you gonna know what I want?”

 

“I don’t.” Lance retorted, and Keith watched his slender fingers twirl around the wrapper of the straw, crumpling it into a ball. “It’s called a surprise for a reason, Keith”

 

Keith sighed.

 

**October 20th, 1:30 AM**

 

_From Lance at 1:30 AM:_  
happy bday!

 

_To Lance at 1:34 AM:_  
it’s not my bday lance

 

_From Lance at 1:35 AM:_  
i know i just wantsd to start a convo lol

 

The light of Keith’s phone illuminated his face, and in the darkness of his house and room, he scoffed. He smiled and text back, ignoring the light that blinded his eyes, although his room smelt nothing like mocha.

 

**October 22nd, 7:15 AM**

 

Keith had slumped into the coffee shop early, like always a mess. Nowadays he didn’t even have to say a word as he walked up to the counter, stupidly grabbing his “funny” pink wallet, handing over his card. The cashier would sometimes laugh as Lance bounded over and asked for a refund, trying to get Keith to buy anything else other than a black coffee. One time, out of spite, Keith ordered a cookie. Lance fumed for the rest of the morning.

 

Departing from Lance was getting harder and harder, especially now that they started talking over the phone at 1 AM, ever since Lance had initiated a conversation. Keith wanted to see him in person, to smell the strong scent of beans that was pushed onto his tongue, and to see his soft curling hair and starry freckles. He would wave to him across the parking lot as they left and watch Lance wave cheerily back, slamming into his car by accident, causing Keith to giggle hysterically. Lance would blush of embarrassment and scramble in his car.

 

Keith was gone.

 

“Your birthday is tomorrow!”

 

Keith hadn’t even thought about that. He hummed and nodded, touching his lips to the rim of the white cup. Lance watched in horror as Keith paid it no attention. “You aren’t… you know… excited?”

 

“Lance, you know I go years with only getting two presents and, like, a cupcake. I don’t get extravagant parties. It’s like any other day to me.” Keith explained tiredly, setting the cup down. Lance jut out his lips and lifted up his chin defiantly.

 

“What are you gonna do tomorrow? You can’t just go to class!” Lance gasped when Keith said nothing. Keith rolled his eyes and watched yellow streams flicker off of the window, to where you were able to see the dust in the air in front of you. Lance was surrounded by golden dots, floating softly like a halo.

 

“Keith, you’re taking tomorrow off.” Lance declared, shoving his index finger onto the wooden table. Keith raised an eyebrow at his crush. “You’re the one who is trying to make my life better, Lance, not causing me to not get notes and possibly fail a test”

 

“It’s your birthday! We need to go somewhere!” Lance urged. Keith’s face heated up. Lance wanted to take him somewhere?

 

“So you’re telling me…” Keith pushed a warm hand on his forehead, rubbing his temple. “That you want to drop all of your plans, have me drop mine, just for my birthday?”

 

“Yup.”

 

Keith started at him dumbfounded. Lance grinned ear to ear.

 

“I already know where we can go.” Lance announced, kicking Keith’s leg teasingly from under the table. Keith let out a yelp of surprise and puffed his cheeks, narrowing his gaze and glaring across the booth. “Where?”

 

“It’s a surprise. But I hope you like roller skating.” Lance chirped.

 

“Lance, that’s spoiling it —“

 

**October 23, 7:02 AM**

 

“Happy birthday to you —“

 

“— Lance! —“

 

“— Happy birthday to you!” The chant was directly in Keith’s ears, and possibly breaking his own personal bubble of “comfortable” as Lance squished next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and howling into the coffee shop, directly to the light fixtures above them. Keith groaned as his crush’s hair barely whisked his face. “Happy birthday dear Keiithhyyy —“

 

“Don’t call me that.” Keith grumbled, who had woken up at five that morning.

 

“Happy birthday to you!” Lance uncovered his other arm to reveal a cookie, setting it on the table in front of them and letting his arm unhook from around Keith. Keith felt a wave of disappointment overcome him at the empty warm spot disappearing from his shoulders. It soon went away at the sight of a cookie with a candle poorly stuck in the middle, and Keith smiled.

 

“Make a wish.” Lance gestured excitedly.

 

“Lance, the candle isn’t even lit.” Keith pointed out, causing Lance to shove him and grin. “Use your imagination Keith, you stupid sugarless coffee!”

 

Keith laughed. Ignoring the laugh Lance emitted that made his heart flutter, Keith let his eyelashes drop down and he shut his eyes softly, making a wish before pretending to blow out the candles. He reopened his eyes to see Lance pursing his lips in an odd facial expression Keith couldn’t place.

 

Lance snapped out of it quickly, though. “What was your wish?”

 

“I can’t tell you that, Lance!” Keith shoved him, causing Lance to gasp and scramble out, going back to the safety of his spot on the other side of the booth, pretending to be hurt. Keith simply rolled his eyes.

 

“Are you ready for a day of fun with Lance?” He teased, and Keith ignored his mind that was pushing him to blush pink. To kiss the stupid grin off of Lance’s golden face, and ask the angels how they were blessed with such a God.

 

“I guess so.” Keith said instead, smiling when Lance whooped and raised his arms in the air, brackets around his wrist falling down to his elbow.

 

**October 24th, 7:18 AM**

 

Keith sat in his kitchen at three AM the next morning.

 

The hum of the fridge was his only noise in the silence of his home this late. Red stood next to the chair where he sat, watching as he stared at the world in front of him blankly. He guessed it was no sleep for him that night — his eyes twitched with the need to sleep and so did his hands, glitching at any thought that ran through his cold mind. His hair fell messily over his face, the bags under his eyes unable to been seen in the darkness of his house. No lights could Keith see, and he didn’t rip his gaze from the wall.

 

The clock ticked. Time was being wasted.

 

Keith reminisced how Lance had brought him to the roller rink the day before, every movement and word playing in his head, looking for an answer to his insecurities.

 

“I used to go here every weekend growing up.” Lance gestured toward the building as the car rolled up, Lance reversing into a parking spot. Keith admired the way his arm hooked around the chair and turned around, backing in. “It’s gonna be really fun.” The mischievous grin in his eyes told Keith he wasn’t lying.

 

“Have you ever roller skated before?” Lance asked, the two falling in step as their feet pat the pavement. Keith shook his head, stuffing his hands in his jeans. “I was a lonely child”

 

“Right.” Lance chuckled, ripping their gaze. “It’s okay, I’ll teach you.” He promised, and Keith’s heart fluttered its wings. He let his eyes wander on Lance profile for just one more second before ripping away his gaze as well.

 

Keith looked over all the events of that day. His birthday — a day that many would say is unforgettable. To cherish your birthday and celebrate it, to be happy with those who care about you, and be happy that you are alive. You made it this far. This is what Lance was doing for him, Keith knew. But was it out of… pity?

 

It was 3 AM, and Keith’s phone buzzes on the table. Hopeful, Keith jerked up from his spot — yet sunk when the caller was not who he was hoping.

 

“Shiro?” Keith croaked into the line, his voice hoarse and barely audible.

 

“Keith! I’m so sorry, I forgot to wish you a happy birthday!” Keith smiled weakly at that, tracing his finger across the glass table. “Yeah, that’s okay Shiro”

 

“How was your birthday? Did you do anything?” The tired voice calmed Keith’s nerves in the background — whatever coincidence that it was Shiro called him at this time, Keith was thankful for it. Because Shiro always seemed to be the answer to his problems.

 

“It was… good.” Keith sighed.

 

“.... you seem upset.” Shiro said finally. Keith ducked his head in pain, even if Shiro couldn’t see him.

 

Arms wrapped around his waist, soft chuckles and giggles and panicked screeches. Jokes slipping from Lance’s mouth, and sugary sweet smiles. Keith almost fell yet Lance caught him, grabbing his wrist and pulling him up to safety, eyes locking for brief moments. Sitting down afterward, enjoying the clouds surfacing in the azure sky, a rain on its way to downpour. And that’s exactly what happened.

 

“It went okay, Shiro.” Keith’s voice cracked as he explained his time, shoving a hand through his tangled hair. He hasn’t showered, he hadn’t eaten — Lance wasn’t only wearing at his heart strings, but his entire mindset. “But…”

 

“But what?”

 

“He left.” Keith whispered.

 

“What are you talking about?” Shiro frowned.

 

Keith and Lance sat there on the bench, feeling the fresh cool air hit their faces. Keith protected his neck behind his scarf, stuffing his nose in and breathing steadily. Their hands were inches apart.

 

And out of nowhere, Lance McClain had stood up, hollering a goodbye and bounding back to his car, driving away before Keith could process the situation he was put in. Lance had left wordlessly, and Keith took the bus home. He was dreading seeing him the next morning, and his mind did loops through each conversation until he was convinced Lance hated him.

 

“Do you… do you think he forgot something?” Shiro asked quietly, trying not to disturb Keith as the boy choked back tears. “Lance never forgets anything, Shiro…” He trailed off, clutching his shirt. Shiro was silent. Hours later, Keith fell asleep at the phone, and Shiro hung up after a humbling “goodnight, Keith”.

 

And hours after that, Keith was sitting in the café.

 

Alone, because Lance, for the very first time, failed to show up.

 

**October 25th, 7:00 AM**

 

Keith sits in anger compulsing through him as he looks at the tasteless coffee wrapped in his embrace. He is shaking with anger when he sees Lance buy a coffee from the counter, and he is trembling with the dread of approaching him. He is betrayed, and the texts he had sent through were never responded.

 

When Lance turns his way, Keith looks in the opposite direction. Unfortunately to his hopes, he can feel a familiar presence situate itself in its normal spot. Normally calming, all Keith can see is gloomy skies. The window contains stormy grey clouds, and the sun was nowhere in sight. No golden hour could be profound on Lance’s cheekbones.

 

“Um… how have you _bean_?” Lance asked weakly, but the statement itself Keith knew wasn’t a question. Keith looked up at him, face red and lips left in a thin line. The blood seemed to drain from Lance’s face.

 

“Lance.” Keith whispered furiously. “I had to take a bus home”

 

“I’m sor —“

 

“In the rain.” Lance’s jaw snapped shut.

 

“You left without warning, and I couldn’t sleep because I figured it was all my fault. That I was annoying you. You have been ignoring my texts, and you didn’t show up yesterday.” Keith’s shaky voice was low coming out of his mouth, and he refused to even take a look at his cup of coffee. Steam had risen in front of them when Lance’s coffee was placed on the table, brushing between the tense air like a crack in the universe.

 

Lance’s expression molded into anger seconds later, and that’s when Keith knew he fucked up.

 

“For your information, I remembered something very important.” Lance’s fists gripped the table, and his eyes narrowed into slits when he faced Keith. Both of them were angry now, and Keith knew there was nothing to go back to now. Every single mistake he’s ever made led up to this, and Keith knew he made a lot of mistakes. Was it worth it? Keith didn’t know.

 

“Something that causes you to run off and not even tell me?” Keith trembled, and his brain hurt from lack of sleep and food.

 

“It’s personal, Keith!” Lance exclaimed, furrowing his eyebrows in mental concentration. “You made it home, didn’t you?”

 

“But you didn’t text me!” Keith argued. _It’s because I care about you_ , the voice in Keith pleaded.

 

“Yeah! I wasn’t able to charge my phone, dickhead!” The words hurt his chest, and Keith let his eyes slip down in anger and dread. He was trying to pour his emotions, why couldn’t Lance see that? “I’ve been so busy! Why are you attacking me?”

 

“You’re being so _ungrateful_.”

 

The words shot through Keith’s heart like a harpoon. The world went still. Time was still.

 

“Fuck you.” Keith spit, shaking hands curling into fists. “Fuck you, Lance”

 

Keith did not expect what was being thrown at him next.

 

“My sister was being let out of the hospital today, Keith. Is that what you wanted to know?” Lance’s voice trembled before him, eyes locking with Keith’s and furrowing his eyebrows painfully. Time was being wasted, and it thumped in Keith’s head and heart. “I remembered last minute. I was having such a good time with you that I forgot.” Keith’s breath hitched underneath him.

 

Oh.

 

And then Lance stood up in the booth, and Keith let him walk away. Keith watched as Lance grabbed his cup of coffee and stalked off, leaving Keith to sit in his corner with his lungs in his throat. It started to drizzle slightly outside, and the pace of the drops picked up in the background after each step toward the door.

 

Keith stood up. Lance exited the building.

 

He knew that, eventually, they would make up. When, he didn’t know, and Keith wasn’t willing to wait in suspense in the time that they would waste.

 

“Lance, I’m sorry! Wait!” Keith left his cup abandoned and shot up, racing out of the café after him. He shoved opened the glass door and into the open, the overhang of the building being left behind him and a pour of rain drenching him immediately. Over the downpour, he called for Lance, racing after him across the parking lot.

 

“Lance!” He screamed over the rain, and Lance turned around, anger boiling in his old happy aurora. The bad weather really did that to people.

 

Keith caught up to him, breath heavy, and Lance tried walking away —

 

And at 7:16 AM, Keith kissed Lance in the rain.

 

Keith’s grip on Lance’s collar made the taller one gasp, especially after the contact of two coffee lips hitting the other in a dire situation. Lance did the opposite of pulling away and returned his kiss, coffee in his hand dropping. Their shirts were soaked wet, and so were their faces — water dripping down their complexions and intoxicating their kiss. It was short and sweet and messy, and Keith pulled away with heavy, short breaths leaving his mouth.

 

“I might love you.” Keith whispered, his breath fanning the other’s face. Lance’s blue eyes went wide and his lips parted, yet no words were able to leave his mouth.

 

Lance kissed him again instead. Keith wrapped his arms around his neck, sinking into the kiss, eyelashes fluttering shut.

 

“Ditto.” Lance whispered back against his mouth, and Keith refused to break their contact. He tasted like mocha, and he tasted like cream. Gummy worms and ice cream and anything sweet left Lance’s mouth. Suddenly, the world didn’t seem so cruel after all.

 

Love was a foreign object to Keith. He used to think it was really just science, from the moment he realized he was gay, until now. The only love he thought he’d gain was of Shiro, who was a person that was irreplaceable to his past. Shiro, the one who taught him to count stars when all would seem wrong in the world. Which had led to Keith being awake at such early times in the morning, looking up out his window at the stars that were left, Red purring besides him.

 

But now he met Lance. Someone who sat across from him in his same spot every morning, feeling out his emotions like dough pressing against the table. Sharing stories and taking walks with him to the car, clinking their coffees in a fake drunk cheer. The Lance who Keith had learned to love over the course of 2 months simply because of him being himself— the same Lance who wrote an entire essay to being happy just for Keith, and the same Lance who loved the rain, now being kissed in it. And maybe in the future, Keith and Lance would still be sitting side by side with love in their cups of coffee. 

 

Keith didn’t know falling in love could be this easy.

 


End file.
